Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
