Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
