paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
