You smell like a Billy Joel song
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
