would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
