my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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