# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
