I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
