I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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