i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
