cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
