my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
