Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
home. puking in laundry basket.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
