CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
birth control should be required to get into college
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
