i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
