i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
