I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
