Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
