ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
