Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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