Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
