I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
