Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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