i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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