hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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