so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
