just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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