just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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