I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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