Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
