you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
