i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
