Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
