So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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