What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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