I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
