I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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