My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
