Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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