turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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