She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
