I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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