Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
