In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
