Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
