Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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