I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
