I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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