My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
