obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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